I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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