There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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