Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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