When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
‪I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse. ‬
Randomize