How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
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When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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