Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize