:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
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His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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