he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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