And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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