That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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