The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize