dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize