I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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