Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize