You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
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I checked into jail on foursquare
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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