Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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