he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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