We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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