try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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