she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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