No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He shit in the fireplace
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize