Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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