I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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