Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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