i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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