She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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