he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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