Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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