Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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