He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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