I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
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I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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