Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
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he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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