also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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