remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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