EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
this hospital has no fireball
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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