Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize