At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
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Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
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YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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