The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
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Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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