I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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