You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
a search helicopter?!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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