brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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