don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
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So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
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I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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