Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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