so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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