I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
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