I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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