And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize