question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Four minutes until I can fart!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize