i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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