When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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